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One thing that’s surprised me as a parent is how eager children can be to solve their own problems—especially when they’re the ones who care about the outcome. If they want a snack from the top shelf of the pantry, they’ll stack chairs, invent tools, or even recruit a sibling to help. But if I ask them to solve a math problem or figure out where they left their shoes, suddenly their creative energy evaporates. It’s made me realize that kids are naturally wired to solve problems when the stakes matter to them. Our job as parents isn’t to teach them how to solve problems from scratch—it’s to harness that natural drive and expand it into areas they might not care about yet.
I think about this a lot because, as much as I want to raise happy kids, I also want to raise capable ones. Life will throw all sorts of curveballs at them—some small, like missing homework, and some much bigger. What I really want is for my kids to grow up believing that problems aren’t scary, and that they are more than equipped to handle whatever comes their way. Over time, I’ve discovered a handful of small, daily habits that make a big difference in how my kids approach challenges, and I’m excited to share them with you.
1. Ask open-ended questions
The next time your child runs into a problem—whether it’s a math question, a broken toy, or a sibling argument—resist the urge to hand them the answer. Instead, ask questions that force them to think beyond the surface. “What else could you try?” or “What would happen if you did it this way?” These kinds of questions don’t just solve the problem at hand—they teach your child how to think critically, evaluate options, and become comfortable with uncertainty. The more you ask, the more they’ll start asking themselves the same types of questions when they’re on their own.
2. Let them struggle a little (but not too much)
It’s hard to watch your kid struggle—especially when you could easily step in and fix things. But that struggle is where the real learning happens. It’s where they build frustration tolerance, creativity, and persistence. Of course, there’s a balance. If you see them getting so frustrated they’re about to give up entirely, that’s your cue to step in—not with the solution, but with gentle guidance. Offer a clue, suggest a new way to think about the problem, or remind them of a time they figured out something similar. Struggle, within reason, builds strength.
3. Turn everyday life into problem-solving practice
You don’t need special workbooks or educational apps to teach problem-solving. Life already hands out plenty of opportunities. Can’t find the dog’s leash before a walk? Run out of clean lunch containers? These small everyday problems are perfect for teaching creative thinking. Encourage your child to brainstorm solutions and pick the best one to try. The more they practice solving small problems now, the more confident they’ll be when bigger challenges come along.
4. Encourage curiosity (and reward questions)
Curiosity is the engine behind problem-solving. Kids who love to ask “why” and “what if” are already training their brains to think like problem solvers. Instead of brushing off their endless questions, lean into them. Ask them what they think the answer might be, or suggest you research it together. Curiosity thrives when kids feel their questions are welcomed—not treated as an annoyance. When kids believe their curiosity is valuable, they become lifelong learners who aren’t afraid to chase down answers on their own.
5. Let them make decisions—and live with the results
Decision-making is problem-solving in disguise. From choosing how to spend their allowance to picking their own outfit for the day, every decision teaches your child to weigh options, predict outcomes, and deal with the results—good or bad. If their choice works out, they feel capable and proud. If it doesn’t, they learn an important lesson about thinking ahead. Either way, they’re practicing the mental processes that make them stronger problem solvers in the long run.
6. Play strategy games together
Board games, card games, and puzzles are all sneaky ways to build problem-solving muscles without it feeling like homework. Games that require planning ahead, predicting opponents’ moves, or adapting strategies mid-game are especially useful. Plus, when you play together, you get the added benefit of modeling sportsmanship, creative thinking, and resilience when things don’t go your way. Best of all, your kids are likely to ask to play again—which means more practice without any nagging from you.
7. Praise the process, not just the result
If kids only get praise when they get things right, they’ll start to fear mistakes—and that fear shuts down creativity and problem-solving faster than anything else. Instead, make a big deal about the effort they put in, the creative ideas they tried, and the way they stuck with the problem even when it got frustrating. Statements like “I love how you didn’t give up!” or “That was such a creative way to approach it!” teach them that persistence and creativity matter even more than getting it perfect the first time.
8. Teach them to break big problems into smaller ones
Kids (and adults too) often get overwhelmed by problems that feel too big to tackle. Whether it’s cleaning up a messy room or solving a tricky school project, learning to break problems into bite-sized pieces makes them far less intimidating. Show your child how to break a big challenge into smaller steps, then tackle them one at a time. It’s a simple skill, but it can transform how they approach problems for the rest of their lives—because nearly every tough challenge can be broken down this way.
9. Model calm thinking when things go wrong
Your reaction to problems teaches your child how they should react to problems. If you fly into a panic or grumble endlessly when things go sideways, they’ll internalize that problems are scary and overwhelming. On the other hand, if they see you pause, take a deep breath, and talk yourself through the options, they’ll learn to do the same. Even narrating your thought process out loud—“Hmm, this didn’t go how I expected. Let me think for a minute”—can help your child see what calm, constructive problem-solving looks like in real life.
10. Celebrate creative (even wacky) solutions
Sometimes the first idea a kid has is off-the-wall or totally impractical—and that’s okay! In fact, you want to celebrate that kind of playful thinking because creativity and problem-solving go hand-in-hand. The goal isn’t to find the perfect solution every time, but to teach your child that brainstorming, testing ideas, and thinking outside the box are all valuable parts of the process. Even if their solution doesn’t work, the fact that they thought creatively and tried something new is a win worth celebrating.
