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As a parent of four young children, I’m constantly looking for ways to connect with them and express my love. I sincerely hope to have a great friendship with each one of them—not just now, but well into their adulthood. I want them to know, without a doubt, that they are loved, valued, and always welcome in my life. But I also know that love isn’t just something we feel—it’s something we actively cultivate through our words, actions, and daily interactions.
I’ve learned that building a deep and lasting bond with my kids doesn’t happen by accident. It requires being present, intentional, and sometimes, even a little creative. In the middle of the busyness of parenting—school drop-offs, tantrums, bedtime routines, and everything in between—I remind myself that the small moments matter just as much as the big ones. Over time, I’ve found simple yet meaningful ways to strengthen my relationship with my children, and I want to share them with you. Here are nine ways to cultivate love between you and your kids.
1. Show up and be present
Your presence matters more than you think. Love is often spelled T-I-M-E when it comes to kids. But simply being in the same room isn’t enough—you have to be emotionally available. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and actively listen when they speak. Give them your full attention during conversations, even the small ones about their favorite TV show or what they did at recess. Small moments of presence add up and help your child feel seen, valued, and loved. Even five or ten minutes of truly engaged time can have a lasting impact on their heart.
2. Speak their love language
Not all kids feel loved in the same way. Some children light up when you praise them, while others crave hugs, quality time, thoughtful gestures, or small surprises. Pay attention to what makes your child feel most connected to you and lean into it. If they love cuddles, hold them close. If they beam when you tell them how proud you are, shower them with affirmations. If they love one-on-one time, carve out moments just for them. Learning and speaking your child’s love language helps ensure they don’t just hear that you love them—they truly feel it.
3. Say “I love you” often
Never assume your child just knows how much you love them—say it out loud. Tell them in the morning, before bed, and at random times throughout the day. Whisper it in their ear as you tuck them in, write it in a lunchbox note, or say it over breakfast. Even if they roll their eyes or act embarrassed, deep down, they need to hear it. Words of love build emotional security and a strong foundation for your relationship. And remember, it’s especially important to say it when they’ve had a hard day or made a mistake. They need to know your love isn’t based on their behavior—it’s unconditional.
4. Apologize when you mess up
Parents aren’t perfect, and your child doesn’t expect you to be. What truly matters is how you handle your mistakes. If you lose your temper, overreact, or say something unfair, own up to it. Saying, “I’m sorry for yelling. That wasn’t fair to you,” teaches them that love includes humility, accountability, and grace. It also models how they should handle their own mistakes in life. When kids see their parents take responsibility, they learn that love isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, making amends, and always trying to do better.
5. Create special rituals and traditions
Kids thrive on routines and traditions because they create stability and lasting memories. Whether it’s a Friday movie night, Sunday pancake breakfast, or a bedtime storytelling tradition, these rituals become sacred moments of connection. Even small things, like a secret handshake or singing a silly song together, can turn into something special they’ll remember forever. The key is consistency. These little traditions tell your child, “No matter how busy life gets, I will always make time for you.”
6. Encourage their individuality
Your child is their own person, with their own personality, dreams, and quirks. One of the most powerful ways to show love is to accept and celebrate them exactly as they are. Show enthusiasm for their unique interests, whether it’s painting, soccer, or collecting rocks. Avoid pushing them toward hobbies or goals that don’t match their natural strengths. Instead, support their passions and help them explore their talents. When kids feel fully accepted for who they are, they feel safe, loved, and empowered to be themselves.
7. Laugh and have fun together
Love isn’t just about the deep conversations and serious moments—it’s also about joy! Laughter strengthens relationships, reduces stress, and helps kids feel connected to you. Play board games, tell silly jokes, have tickle fights, or dance in the kitchen. Be willing to be goofy and let loose with them. These lighthearted moments are just as important as the serious ones because they build positive memories and make home feel like a happy, safe place. When kids associate love with joy, they naturally want to be close to you.
8. Be their safe place
Life can be overwhelming for kids, and they need to know that home—and you—are a refuge. Let them express their emotions without fear of judgment or punishment. If they’re upset, listen without immediately trying to fix the problem. If they’re frustrated, acknowledge their feelings rather than dismissing them. Sometimes, all a child needs is a hug and to hear, “I understand. That sounds really tough.” Knowing they can come to you with anything, good or bad, deepens trust and strengthens the love between you.
9. Love them through all seasons
Love isn’t conditional. Your child needs to know that even when they make mistakes, struggle, or pull away in their teenage years, your love remains unwavering. Reassure them that no matter what, you are in their corner. Let them know that their worth isn’t tied to their achievements, behavior, or how easy they are to parent. A child who feels deeply and consistently loved will carry that security with them into adulthood. When love remains steady through every season of life, the bond between you and your child only grows stronger.
The more you pour into your relationship with your children, the more love will naturally grow. What’s one thing you can do today to cultivate love between you and your child?
