Created by Mike & Mollie. If you enjoy our work, please subscribe here.
I love to make my wife, Mollie, feel good about herself. She’s a great person, and I think it’s important to remind her of that. It’s something I really plan to be more intentional about in our marriage. I never want her to feel taken for granted or go through a day without knowing how much I appreciate her. Life gets busy, and it’s easy to assume our spouse knows we love and admire them, but I’ve realized that saying it—showing it—matters more than we think.
When I make an effort to lift her up, I can see the difference it makes. Her whole mood brightens, her confidence grows, and our relationship feels stronger because of it. I want to be the kind of husband who makes his wife feel secure, valued, and loved every single day. And honestly, it’s not difficult—it’s just about paying attention and making small, thoughtful choices. Here are some simple but meaningful ways I’ve found to help my spouse feel good about herself.
1. Tell them what you admire about them
Think about the last time someone gave you a genuine compliment. Felt good, right? Your spouse feels the same way. The key here is sincerity—don’t just throw out generic compliments. Notice the little things they do and tell them why you admire them. Maybe it’s how they always stay calm under pressure, their dedication to their work, or the way they make you laugh. The more specific you are, the more meaningful your words will be.
2. Brag about them in front of others
There’s something extra special about hearing praise secondhand. When you talk highly about your spouse to friends, family, or coworkers, it shows you truly respect and appreciate them. If they just accomplished something big, mention it proudly. Even if it’s something small—like how great they are with the kids or how hard they work—it matters. Your spouse will feel deeply valued knowing that you’re proud of them and want others to know it too.
3. Listen—really listen
How often do we “listen” while also scrolling on our phone or half-watching TV? Giving your spouse your full attention when they’re talking is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to make them feel valued. When they share about their day, their thoughts, or even their frustrations, put your phone down, make eye contact, and engage in the conversation. Ask questions, show empathy, and let them know that what they say matters to you.
4. Support their goals and dreams
Nothing builds confidence like having someone believe in you. If your spouse has a dream—whether it’s a career change, fitness goal, or creative hobby—be their biggest cheerleader. Ask about their progress, offer help where you can, and remind them they’re capable even when they doubt themselves. When they know you’re in their corner, they’ll feel more confident in their ability to succeed.
5. Show physical affection
Touch is a powerful way to communicate love and reassurance. Small, consistent gestures—holding hands, hugging, or even a simple pat on the back—can go a long way in making your spouse feel emotionally secure and loved. It’s easy to forget how important physical connection is in a busy life, but a quick hug before leaving for work or resting your hand on their shoulder while talking can make them feel safe and cherished.
6. Express gratitude often
It’s easy to take the little things for granted, but regularly thanking your spouse for what they do can make a huge difference. A simple “Thanks for making dinner” or “I appreciate how hard you work” reminds them that their efforts don’t go unnoticed. Even if something is part of their daily routine, acknowledging it will make them feel appreciated and valued. Gratitude strengthens relationships and boosts self-worth, so don’t hold back.
7. Laugh together
Shared laughter is one of the strongest bonding experiences. Finding ways to bring humor into your daily life can help relieve stress and create a deeper connection. Whether it’s sending them a funny meme, watching a comedy together, or reminiscing about an inside joke, making your spouse laugh reminds them that they bring joy to your life. Feeling like a source of happiness for someone else is one of the best confidence boosters there is.
8. Give them a break when they need it
Sometimes, the best way to make your spouse feel good is by taking something off their plate. If they’ve had a rough day, offer to handle the chores, put the kids to bed, or bring them a cup of coffee. A simple, “I’ve got this, go relax,” can make them feel deeply cared for. Life gets busy, and knowing they can rely on you when they’re overwhelmed will make them feel supported and understood.
9. Remind them how much they mean to you
Never assume your spouse “just knows” how much you love and appreciate them. Say it. Write it. Show it in small, daily ways. A quick text saying, “Thinking about you,” a note on the fridge, or simply saying “I’m so lucky to have you” can make a world of difference. When you regularly remind your spouse that they are special to you, you help reinforce their sense of worth and importance in your life.
Your spouse is your partner, your teammate, and your best friend. Making them feel good about themselves isn’t just about improving their mood—it’s about building a marriage that is full of love, support, and joy.
